The Sacredness of Sacrifice

by S. Ingbald

This yule was the second time I've met with RFU, and this one was a much longer journey. It feels like my trip was defined by sacrifice. Sacrifice in the northern spiritual tradition is the concept that something is given over or endured in order to make something sacred. This takes the form sometimes of an offering which is made to a god but also sometimes as a ritual which makes sacred an act or space.

To sacrifice, there must be something valued and it seems as if the more valuable things make the best sacrifices. During this yule, we sacrificed many things, but also endured many things in order to make our rituals to the gods. Sometimes it was the mead, sometimes it was an animal, sometimes it was simply the cold which had to be endured. The host gave us his family goat so that we could sacrifice it to Odin, and for my part, I gave my leg. I was blessed with the opportunity to show my skills and teach my art to my folk, and then I was given the opportunity to bleed for my gods.

While sparring I made a wrong move and my opponent collapsed onto my knee injuring my ACL and rendering me unable to walk without a cane. The pain wasn't too bad usually but my leg couldn't support me. My folk helped me to a chair and gave me the medicine they had, while our hosts even provided a knee brace and a cane. I was taken inside to a massage table and one of our ladies who is a therapist helped to get blood flow to the area and assess the level of damage.

Each blót after became a journey, and I relied on the strength of my kindred to make it, but I made it all the way. I attended every ritual, crossed every creek, struggled with every step but I would not stop and I did all that I could to lessen the burden on my people. I gave with every step, but the real price was paid in the night when the pain came. I awoke the first night and discussed going home and quitting with my wife but when the morning came and no one was there with me I understood. I put my clothes on and I climbed the hill from where my tent was to the house. I gave those steps to Odin one by agonizing one. When I reached the top of the hill I ran into my kinsmen and wife who had come to collect me in the side by side and I am sorry I scared them but sometimes you just have to do something as if your spirit demands it. When I felt the pain I did not show it, so that my folk would not share in it.

I saw great kindness from everyone and they all helped everywhere they could, not a single person held back in trying to help me. I feel such gratitude to have a memory of every person in attendance doing something to help me make it through. They carried me across the rocks some, they held my hand to walk around the circle, they sacrificed their time, energy, skills, and ingenuity to allow me to take this journey with them each day all day, and smiled while they did it.

I think what I learned is when you give something, and you do so without complaint, you are given in return more than you gave. A cosmic law seems to give you back what is sacrificed in equal measure to the worth of the sacrifice. By being injured, choosing to stay, and choosing to keep going without being negative I was rewarded with the experience of kinship. By making the trip down for each blót, I was rewarded with the opportunity to see some of the most impactful rituals that I have ever witnessed.

Sacrifice means to make something sacred and I can say without doubt that this journey was sacred and in no small part because of the injury I sustained. I'm going to have many more days of recovery but there's no doubt in my mind that it was absolutely worth the sacrifice.